Five Minute Friday: Lonely
Tonight is one of those unusual times when I’m home alone. No hubby, no kids, no friends. Me, my iPAD, a bag of Doritos, and a bottle of H2O. It’s 7 PM and I’m in my jammies watching What Not to Wear. I’d say, tonight I’d qualify as a candidate for the show. This would be a time to feel lonely, yet I feel great. I can hear the rat-a-tat of my fingers on the keyboard and no voices to pull me away. I know Lonely, yet I haven’t seen hide or hare of him tonight.
They say one is the loneliest number, but I’m not convinced.
Lonely seems to show up when everyone is around. Lonely wraps me in self-consciousness, blames me for not communicating, takes full advantage of my self-pity and urges me to not let this happen again; even if it leads to more isolation. His voice is loudest when my unmet expectations are met with great photos of luxurious vacations on Facebook and visions of beautiful people with carefree lives seen through the rosy filter of social media. At times, a perseverative echo– the weight of comparisons; crushing contentment and gratitude.
When Lonely shows up, I need to say “Shut up”. You see, Lonely lies.
I see you, and you see me.
I want to know you. I want you to know me.
We are not alone.